A Mother's Love...knows no Other....I wish you could feel they way I feel, to do what I'm about to do...it's pure and simple Love...This is for my Bo.
Those were the words I sang before I left NC.
My
son was 12 when we left Indiana…We made our way to North Carolina the summer of
2005. It was during this time he started his own journey. There are many pieces
that tell a story…Parts 4 and 5 tell his.
During
our time in NC my son traveled a road filled with uncertainties…I look back now
and understand how leaving a place he called home, left him feeling like he was
alone trying to find his way…it wasn’t until later that I discovered something
else would find him. The wrong sorts of people, the wrong sorts of pressure
found my son. I look back now and understand how vulnerable he was learning to
adapt to a whole new life in NC.
When
I learned of my sons “activities” and the crowd that followed…I made a tough
decision to let my son go…in search of his truth. This piece of my story shares
my True Testimony and how it was Faith driven…
After
my son left for Indiana the summer of 2009…I knew I had a difficult decision to
make…
I
worked for the University. I managed the Advising Center on campus for students
attending college to become Teachers…I too was attending college, for the first
time ever…I waited to attend college. I was a stay at home Mom for years and
later worked…I never seemed to have the time to go to school…until I did…and
then…I made a decision that would change my life again…After seeing the growth
with my son and his departure from everything that happened in NC, I knew I had
to make a decision to stay in NC or return to a place I NEVER saw myself going
back too.
My
son returned to school in August of 2009. He would be a sophomore. Trips were
made to and fro to see one another…we came for Thanksgiving…he came for
Christmas…months would pass and I prayed for God to show me a sign…should we
stay…should we go…should he come back? The emotions that took place over the
course of months were exhausting…my son missing his family and eager to have us with him…my
heart torn to leave a place I called home. I loved North Carolina…so much had
changed for me. Attending school. Working for the University…later becoming a
Teaching Assistant and fell in love with my major…I developed a family of
friends…I loved the community. The weather was great…the beach was my
getaway…it was the one place I could go and leave all my cares behind…until I
couldn’t.
Days,
weeks, months…Prayers…I’ll never forget it…I’ve told this story DOZENS of
times…and I NEVER tell a lie…and NEVER embellish a story…here goes:
Ok,
there is a piece that will make you go (?) but remember, it’s One Piece at a
Time…Ok, now here goes: My husband left to go to Indiana in March of 2010…there
was something he had to take care of, besides being there for our son…My
daughter and I remained in NC. We developed a system, so-to-speak…
She
and I would start the day with work and school…afterwards, we would return home
and go for our daily walk…we lived in the country…I loved it. The house was
Home. There was a trail about ½ mile long and we would walk before dinner…on
this day…a Thursday…we discussed what we would do…what will happen? Do we
really move? I say to her...and remind her of scripture…Lean not into your own
understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your
path…I say to her…I wish it was so easy that a road sign would drop down and
say, “Move to Indiana” or “Stay in Carolina” I say to her…in His time, not
ours…and we continued with our walk.
The
next day I go to work, as usual…it was Friday, it was the Friday before spring
break…it was quiet on campus…I had two student workers that assisted me in my
office…on this day…I was a little “off” I was having an emotional day now with
BOTH my fellas gone…when the second student assistant came in this day…I took
her aside and tell her I’m having an off day…She tells me she understands with
all I have going on…I tell her I pray about it but wish it was as easy to get
an answer and see that road-sign…
The
day was quiet and we return to the office, my student worker and myself…I sit
at my desk…bored. I’m all caught up. Sooo I play a little game online…it
was called Peggle on MSN…during the game there would be breaks, commercial
breaks…and this is when it happens…
Ready?
I’m sitting at my desk…the game pauses for a break…the commercial, advertisement,
comes on….it is…a Road-sign…and it says: Welcome to Indiana…No Lie. I jump!
from my seat…I run to my dear friend and advisor in the office and tell her…she
was like a mother figure to me…and we both were faith driven women…I couldn’t
believe it. Shock! It was then I knew the decision that had to be made…
Welcome
to Indiana…Late Spring 2010.
This
is where I leave you, until next Sunday’s continuation…
Be
Good to You.
Smooches,
Lola
