Sunday Personals Pt. 5

I thought going forward I would label my Sunday Personals in parts…if you read Part 4 or are new to my blog, then you need to know Sundays are the days I spend time sharing about my life…my journey…One Piece At a Time. In Pt. 4 you read about my Son and His Truth…Todays piece will fill in some blanks…

Prior to my son finding out about his truth I had a strong feeling things were “aloof” I would tell my husband, “I’m worried about Bo” and for good reason…He was with the wrong sorts of people…and I found out a little too late. Seems like these days drinking and drugs are easily acceptable and the “in” thing to do. For the record, there is NOTHING more vile than a person who deals with drugs and sells them to innocent children, this is true for alcohol too.

My Bo was making bad decisions…Here begins the fight of my life. I’ve said this before…you go through things in life and think there horrible, until the next horrible thing comes along. This was it for me. I could handle anything…but not drugs. Anger. Fear. Worry. Just a few emotions that filled my body during this time…What did I do wrong? Does this mean I’m a bad parent? Doubt filled my mind…and the stress took its toll…every day was a fight….and then he found his truth…icing on the cake! Once the news was found, he struggled even more…

During this time my sons Aunt came down to visit. She was excited after all these years being apart…It was here that the connection would be made and another life altering change would come my way…My Bo admitted to making wrong choices and knew his decisions left him to want to leave North Carolina and travel north to Indiana to know his Truth…His Aunt offered her home to him to start over…I wrestled for weeks….”How do I let him go?” “What happens if he stays?”

On February 14, 2009 I traveled over 400 miles to drive my son to be with his Aunt and her family…in Indiana. We met in West Virginia…after weeks of debating…I surrendered…I did what I thought was best for him. He expressed such a strong desire to leave…start over…so young, so innocent. It was my husband, myself, and my Bo…his sister stayed with a friend in NC…I’ll NEVER forget this day…

We met at a diner…We get out, we go in…and order our food. We make light chit-chat. I didn’t want what I was feeling inside to show in front of my son. His Aunt was cheerful. Compassionate…I trusted her to help save him from all that was around him in NC. There are no words to describe what this was like…we leave the diner…we walk through the parking lot…I hug my son. I kiss him and we both…let’s just say, parting is such sweet sorrow…The pain. The tears sweep my face. I get into my car. I am speechless. I sit in the backseat of my expedition…and my husband drives. I have moments of uncontrollable crying…wanting to turn around. Questioning if I made a mistake...

We arrive back home…one less. You should have heard me…His poor Aunt, I don’t think she knew what to do or say to me…it was like a bad dramatic movie…I can say this now…It was HARD. Weeks would go by. He got settled in to his new school, the school he graduated from this last January…he fit right in…he is adorable after all…His Aunt was strong…he tested her, no doubt, but she didn’t bat an eye. I would travel back and forth to see him…each time was like Christmas morning for the both of us…he is a Momma’s boy, in case you didn’t know…

That summer of 2009 he came home …he was different. Not as intense as before. He looked good. Healthy. Happy…we vacationed in Florida that year…spent days at the beach…at Topsail Island…such a beautiful place…one of my favorite places… He left at the end of summer…school would start in August and off he goes…I was stronger this time.

Again, I am left to make a life altering change…I will pause here…I hope you stayed with me. I know these posts are long…keeping in mind I tell it, “One Piece at a Time”

Be Good to You.

Smooches,

Lola