Fantastic Book...I say Yes.

I purchased this book on my recent trip to NC. I wanted something for the plane ride home and this was it. I opened it and read the first two pages and that was that!

I love this. Great eye opener...the things she shares about how we are conditioned to things in the world to keep us from moving on...life, relationships, jobs and reaching our goals. I am almost done and ready to read it again...It will be my push to embark on my next chapter in life...

I bought my copy in the clearance section at Barnes and Noble for $7.98 - Worth every penny.

Be Good to You.

Smooches,

Lola

Sunday Personals...Pt. 8

Hello. It seems like it’s been awhile since I’ve done a Sunday post…with my recent trip out of town, I was unable to put something together…Part 7 is where I left off…

Since the move from NC in 2010…life has been one roller coaster ride after another. As I’ve said…these posts are neither rants, nor pity sessions for me…but a way of journaling for myself. Being brave and sharing something so personal to an audience I hardly know…

I share One Piece at a Time….I’ve shared about my Son. My husband and his “news”. The loss of my job. Debt. Losing my house. My disability. Divorce.

What do I say today? Do I feel sorry for myself? NO. I fight the good fight every day. I do the best I can with what I have and who I am.

My recent trip to NC opened my eyes. I’ve never done ANYTHING on my own. I’ve been a mother since I was 17 and married at 18. All of which became my identity. Now…kids are grown. Life stood still with no job. And the Hubs and I are alone. I knew long ago I wasn’t happy. But I stayed. I stayed for all the wrong reasons, and for all the right reasons.

The night before my flight I could feel the fear. It was talking me out of going. The “what ifs” sank in. The “I’ll be so far away” the “Can I?” kind of thinking…seems silly, but fear of the unknown…even though I was going to a place I called home…crept in. I told myself…I wasn’t going to give in. I got up at 5 in the A.M. and proceeded to get ready…had my coffee…did my hair and make-up and finished packing for the ride to Chicago…

The drive… I was nervous. But I had to fight through the fear. I boarded my plane without a minute to spare and down the runway we go! I was so nervous getting out I forgot to buy a magazine to preoccupy my time…so two hours of pure silence! I’m not one for silence…I can talk to anyone…but not today. The plane makes its way to our scheduled destination…I can see the stadium…the streets…I am a kid in the candy store!!!

I get my rental car…I head straight to campus and surprise my friends and old co-workers…I meet a friend for dinner and then the night sets in…I check into my hotel…Alone. Alone Alone…see where I am going? I feel a little panic. I start to cry…thinking, “What am I doing?” I immediately find the “emergency exit” and plot my escape…BUT WHAT FOR? I pull it together…find some comfort...do some self-affirmations and allow myself to feel what I need to feel and see the new day…I get up…get ready…take in the day…and again, the night falls…again the FEAR creeps in…until it doesn't...I think to myself…”What in the world?” And then my courage sounds off like a fog horn! I am Woman! Hear me roar…or something like that…Very empowering this feeling. I get up the next day…Alone…I decide I want to see the Island…and off I go…Alone. It was Grand! I soaked up the sun…came back...and did a little shopping...this night...more peaceful.

The last day…I get up early…it’s Mother’s Day…my son calls me…wakes me…and then my best girl…I climb out of bed and prepare the another day on the Island…this time I stay a little longer…I smile as I type this…the feeling rushes through me and I can see myself driving the two hours down the highway to make my way to the Island…I sing along with my music…loudly! And dance in my seat…not a care in the world….

I conquered something on this trip. I found courage I didn’t know I had…in a place I called home. Funny how the moments where we call home…we find ourselves on shaky ground…fearful…can I, will I, should I…the answer is…Yes. I am proud of myself…let the healing begin…One Piece at a Time.

More to come…Be Good to You.

Smooches,

Lola

Finally...My Big Girl Trip...NC

Hello Ladies...Thank you for your patience as I am on the mend, finally. And Thanks to all of you and your kind and lovely comments...Always appreciated...Hugs.

Here is a preview of my recent trip home to North Carolina...This was my first trip back in over two years. Coming off the plane I was like a kid in the candy store. First things first...you must know this was my first trip "EVER" alone. No kids. No Husband. I'm a big girl now trip...so Empowering.

This is my future Son-n-Law...Yes, my daughter knows I say this...He is wonderful and my little one and him are still quite fond of one another...We had lunch at Panera, hence all the bagels in the background...

This is one of the many loves of my life...She was the first person I went to see...When the plane hit the landing, I got my bags and rental car, and went straight to campus to see her...she had NO IDEA I was coming and her reaction when I came in the room was PRICELESS!! Very Genuine. She is so special.

This was the evening of my first night there...this is my dear dear friend whom I consider a sister...she helped me with my walk with the Lord...I'm a different person because of who she is.

This here is my best good friend...He says to me, "Take my picture. You're in the Presence of Greatness" I'm certain he was talking about me...he he.

HAD to go back to where I worked and attended school...

Thought I would share...when you walk through the pillars, they chime...can honestly say I've ran back and forth on many occasions...not this day. I had so many people to see and had to get a move on!

Since I was alone...this was the best photo I was gonna get...this is how I spent that last two days of my trip...alone on the Island. Loved every minute.

Encountered LOTS of these...

And soaked up this view...

There are no words to describe what this trip meant to me. I had no idea going into it I would be so emotional about a place I call home...The best part was...most didn't know I was coming, risky I know, but seeing the looks on my friends faces will stay with me forever and it's something to look back on and giggle...I'm sneaky, what can I say? I enjoyed seeing everyone and then spending the time alone...and on Mothers Day. My Bo called me at 7:21 am and was like, "Oh you're still sleeping?" But was good to hear his voice...Ten minutes later...My girl called me...I'm blessed. Although in the beginning I was scared...never been alone and so far away from my children...but conquered the fear and embraced my time. I miss it. Home. There's no place like Home. The day after I got back I fell sick. I think because of the stress of travel...plane was cold and not enough to eat due to all the excitement, my body forced me to sit still...I'm not good at it, sitting still that is...or being sick.

Thanks again for hanging out with me...

I've got to get busy for my Sunday post...I have lots to say...for now I have all this to look forward too...

My 18th Anniversary.

My Bo's 19th Birthday.

Graduation Celebration for Bo.

Graduations Period (not attending them all)

Daughter starts college June 4th AND got her first car!

Driving test to drive new car...

LOTS to DO!

Be Good to You!

Smooches,

Lola

Need a Good Laugh?

I have been under the weather for almost a week! Just when I think I'm starting to feel better...I do too much and then BAM! I'm back down...I apologize for my absence...I hope everyone is doing well...I'm still out here...lurking in the background...watching your blogs!

For now I leave you with this little "jaw" dropper....

I hope you smiled. The question is...would you stop?

(my answer: I'd honk and wave, maybe even take a pic...random, I know.)

No judging...it made me giggle and besides...you've seen one butt, you've seen them all.

Be Good to You.

Smooches,

Lola

I'm Back...

Hello Ladies...

I'm home from my little vacay...which started here in Chicago...Great city!

And ended up here...

Topsail Island, NC

I'm a bit under the weather and need to upload my pictures...soon.

For now I wanted to say hello...lots to say and share...bear with me.

I hope all is well in the world with you.

Be Good to You.

Smooches,

Lola



Leaving on a Jet Plane...

Happy Wednesday Ladies...This will be a short week for me. I am taking some time for myself and going on a little vacay...

I'll be back next week...

For now I leave you with this...

For all of you who will be celebrating Mothers Day...whether you are a Mother, or honoring your Mother...Think about this...

Mothers are the closest thing to Jesus...We love unconditionally and always forgive.

I hope everyone has a lovely Mothers Day...for those of you without your Mother...or maybe don't have a close relationship...wish someone who needs a Happy Day...A Happy Day.

I'm going to miss everyones posts this coming week...

As always, Be Good to You.
Smooches,
Lola

Sunday Personals Pt. 7

Everything is One Piece at a Time…this piece fills in a missing piece…I last left my journey sharing with you about my son…and my sign. I thought for this post I would share a time in between…Please note….I don’t tell my journey for sympathy. I’m doing fine. As the Sunday Personals are posted…it helps me to journal as therapy. I am grateful to all of you who follow and read my story…One Piece at a Time.

It was a struggle in the beginning for me…moving over 800 miles from everything and everyone I knew, to go somewhere I’ve never been. We left Indiana that summer because of something that changed MY life forever… I remember it like it was yesterday.

Loading up the U-Haul…in the heat of summer.

Months before our move I received startling news…I was home waiting to go to work when I got a phone call…a woman’s voice on the other line…calling to tell me she had a child with my husband…I was shocked, scared, angry…and confused. Outburst of tears (Me)…Her…surprised by my reaction. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and she let me go…I never heard from her again…and to this day that still remains the same. I should go on and say this happened just before the Hubs and I met…so it doesn’t seem like infidelity on his part…Either way, the Hubs kept a secret…the secret being that the child was true…after the phone call I called the Hubs to parlay my news…our news. Months went by and nothing happened…except something did. He went through all the motions and never told me…the last month before we were set to move I found the truth. It came by mail. I couldn’t believe it. Why didn’t he tell me?

Why? Because I lived in an unhappy marriage…for over 10 years…if we were united as a couple, then maybe he would have told me? I knew I was unhappy, but taking care of the kids got in the way…and by that I mean, there was no time to figure out how to be happy…listening to my inner self and being a Mother. And being a Mother came first.

Before hearing the news…or answering that phone call…I was happy. I was happy to be my kids’ Mother. I smile as I type this…thinking of their sweet youth…chubby little cheeks. Their hugs. Their kisses…and knowing they loved me unconditionally and still do. I think of that summer…that summer before we moved…Bike rides. Skateboards. Little girls and boys laughter filling the house…kids would come from all over to be at the house…it helped that we had a pool…Looking back, my fondest memories are of them. All I wanted was to be loved…and I had my kids love.

My marriage wasn’t horrible in the sense of any form of abuse…it just lacked passion. I was so wrapped up with my children and fixing everything that went wrong, I never had the time to take care of me or listen to myself…Fear plagued my life. Fear of staying…fear of leaving…I was scared when I left Indiana in 2005.

I remember the morning after we left…getting up in the hotel…resting from the long drive and standing out front alone…I was shaky…I stood and looked into the sunlit sky…and I prayed. I told myself, “now wasn’t the time to fall apart” when I had two kids depending on me. Looking back I know I was running…I feared that if I stayed in Indiana I would leave my marriage…and already unhappy marriage…so I ran. I was alone. I had to be the strong one. Keep it all together…until I didn’t. The stress would seep like an open wound…and the toxins spilled everywhere…and didn’t realize until it was too late…My Bo, my son and the effect.

Shame. Ashamed I wasn’t strong enough to walk away. There are no words to describe what this journey has been like…and the pieces in between. In the midst of the storm, one can’t see the horizon of the sunrises and sunsets…the darkness that fills the corners and a fight to see the light…I swallowed my reality to protect my kids…myself. I’m not perfect…but my love for them is. I never said I had all the answers…still don’t. And that is ok…one day at a time…One Piece at a Time…God is Good.

I will continue my journey and how things came together after my sign to leave NC and return to a place I left behind…a place I never wanted to be, again.

Be Good to You.

Smooches,

Lola

Come in, Have a Seat...

Time flies when you're having fun...or not? I would say, "Can you believe it's already Thursday???", but instead, I'm like...It's ONLY Thursday??? Wow. I have so much to do to get caught up with the blog world...for now...here is a peak at this last weekends doings...I spent the day with my Son...My Bo...and the Hubs, unfortunately my little one had to work (insert frown) BUT I was happy to spend the day with him...

Here goes...

Graduation is around the corner and a suit suits him just fine...cute, right?

After...we stopped for Dinner here: Industrial Revolution what an amazing place to eat.

A piece a history...

I hope you can read this...it tells the story of these men and where this piece has traveled...this was sitting at Ground Zero...kinda amazing, I think.

Then...Desert...Yummo!

The cutest Cupcake shop ever....and the little pink one is Cotton Candy...I got a Chocolate Cheesecake Cupcake, in which I ate rather quickly...no time for a photo here folks! But it was DELISH! You should see the variety of gourmet cupcakes they offer...I could go everyday of the week, good thing I live over an hour away, or I'd be in trouble!

And lastly....

A walk downtown...

Cutest sign ever. Come in, have coffee...and knit away!

Thank you for stopping by...it's been an odd week for me. Mainly I've been taking care of myself...and trying to figure a few things out...Thanks to those who replied and are new to my blog...I promise I will sit down tonight and reply to all and take a peek at your sites! Have a great Thursday...

Be Good to You.

Smooches,

Lola

Would You Rather...

Hello Ladies...

I've been busy busy busy...and missed Sunday's follow-up from last week...I will get back on track this week. Lots going on in my world and unfortunately blogging took a backseat.

For todays post I am inspired from reading another blog to ask a random question of sorts....

If you could only pick one...which would you choose?

Books or Movies

You can't have both...

Have a great Tuesday!

Be Good to You.

Smooches,

Lola