Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A Pirates life for me?

I heard this recently:
If you found out you were going to lose a leg…wouldn’t you go out and run, skip, hop, or kick, like Hi-Ya!  Or would you sit on the couch until it was gone? I say nay to the latter… No way!!!!  Ima take off running! Like Forrest Gump…
I’ve been thinking about everything going on around me…I feel like I’m being held captive on a Pirate ship…waiting to walk the plank. I can either stay on the ship…or I can jump into the unknown…as I look down I feel scared…all the questions that come to mind…What if? Are there? Can I? Will I?

I’ll never be able to answer these questions until I jump…did I mention I’m scared? But isn’t that par for the course when facing such obstacles in life? If fear keeps you in the same place all the time, then fear will take over…and I’m not looking for a room-mate, know what I mean?
Chaos…for as long as I can remember this has been my way of life…is it supposed to be like this?
I start the day…my coffee in hand…listening the birds, sing almost in rhythm…as I gaze outside. I take a deep breath and pause…I think to myself…what will I do today? So many obstacles…feeling stuck being one. I think about being on that ship…chaos all around me. In my mind I see a ship that needs a Captain. Someone to take control…Direct...Lead.  Looking onto the horizon and seeing the sunset and sunrise…I imagine a place, somewhere on shore where the world… my life, isn’t like that boat, rocking back and forth.
The boat…as it rocks back and forth…the feeling of being seasick seems to be the norm in the midst of the chaos…I look out and see people who I think should be Captain of their own ship, and yet they look to me…how can I be my own Captain when everyone else needs a Captain of their own…Yet somehow I play that role for everyone but Me. The storm comes in…sometimes so hard you can hardly see. Much like emotions…your emotions overwhelm you…Me.
Last Sunday I wrote about my son…and his truth…I use to think his truth would be the hardest thing I’d ever face…funny how our fears make us believe something in the end we overcome…to Never say Never. I’ve been married since I was 18. A mother at 17. I ask myself…what did I know about getting married and being a mother so young? This is where forgiveness comes in….
I made mistakes along the way…I still make mistakes. It’s what we learn about ourselves when we make mistakes…I look back and see things differently…if I knew then what I know now…We all say this very thing…I tell myself: The past can teach us about our present…our present can change  our future…it’s a process of learning, but more importantly…about forgiveness.
Forgiveness comes from within…I’m on that ship…it rocks back and forth…I’m tired…sick and tired of being sick and tired…the plank…it calls my name. Fear! The inner battle within oneself…overcoming…rising…and conquering…as you lunge forward into the unknown…to begin a new chapter…an adventure in the journey…one to sit back and write about…with Joy and Excitement…that’s what I want…and dang-it…I’m gonna do it. One piece at a time…
Be Good to You!


  1. Hang in there Lola, things are rough now but they don't last forever. A rainbow is just waiting for the rain to stop.

    1. Well said! I figure if life was easy all the time, then where would it leave room for growth? I know the storm will pass and wisdom will be gained...besides...it helps in the way of writing, journaling, so-to-speak. Thank you for stopping by! I love it...


  2. I love the analogy of a one legged pirate and how we look at ourselves. I can totally relate to feeling like you're caught in the storm with the ship rocking back and forth. You're so right we all make mistakes and all we can do is learn from them. I take comfort that there's hope in God. Thank you so much for your sweet comment. I'm so glad I found and joined your blog. :)

    1. I'm glad you stopped by...I meant every word. I love finding new blogs and knowing good people who share a common interest...I look forward to future posts...
      Thanks again.



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